“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27
Peace- eijrhvnh (Greek); Eirene (Trans.);
1. a state of national tranquillity
2. exemption from the rage and havoc of war
3. peace between individuals, i.e. harmony, concord
4. security, safety, prosperity, felicity, (because peace and harmony make and keep things safe and prosperous)
5. of the Messiah’s peace – the way that leads to peace (salvation)
6. of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is
the blessed state of devout and upright men after death (Crosswalk.com, emp. mine)
If this is the type of peace Jesus left us, why do so many, why do I not posses it? Security, safety, “tranquil state of a soul,” “fearing nothing from God,” content? These often, most times, escape me. I’m one of the least content, most anxious, stressed people I know. I have the white in the hair to prove it!
I try so hard too. I keep schedules and budgets. I make my lists so I won’t forget anything. I make straight A’s, though the more I make the more anxious I am that I’ll get a B. I try to keep everything in its place. I’m super organized, to the umpteenth degree. So why, with all of my control/organization strategies, do I still lack peace?
Maybe that’s the key word-control. I try to plan everything. I mean absolutely EVERYTHING. Even if it’s not going to happen, I try to plan just in case it does. For example, for the first time in my adult life I have no idea where I will even be next month or what will be going on, aside from my on-line class I am taking. I don’t know a thing! Daily I try to plan just in case one of the possible scenarios might take place. “Well if we’re still in Hawaii….” I’ll think. “If I go home (where ever that may be)…. Then….” I muse. I constantly have to stop myself when my scenarios stress me out more and give me more questions than answers.
But giving up control is so hard! I guess right now I don’t have much of a choice, it’s been wrenched from me. But I still try so hard to control the few things I can. I hyper-control the few things I can, or think I can. Money for instance. Today I woke up worrying about money. We spent a lot in Kauai for our Anniversary and Christmas. Never mind that until this year we’ve never been on a real vacation alone. Never mind that we’ll probably never do that again. Never mind that we’ve never gone any where or done anything more than Outback for our Anniversary. I’m still stressed out about the bit of money we spent while we were there. If I continue this way, my worry will rob me of the joy of the trip. I really need to stop.
I’m also trying to hyper-control my last class. “This is my last class,” I think. “I have to get an A, so I can have a 4.0. It will be the end of the world if I don’t get a 4.0!” Daily I feel the need, and try to suppress the need, to log on to the class website and begin to work on it. Did I mention school doesn’t start for another 2 ½ weeks? But the over achiever that I am wants to have begun two days ago. I’m currently restraining my self to at least Jan. 2nd.
“Peace I leave with you…” “Tranquility, safely, security, fearing nothing…” I need those embosomed on my forehead. Hey, maybe that’s why God commanded the Israelites in Deuteronomy to place it on their “door posts,” to talk about it “when they got up…” He even commands them to write them on their foreheads… Maybe it’s because he knew how forgetful we are.
He knew we need constant reminders that He is the one really in control, and you know, he’s done a pretty decent job so far, maybe I should let go and leave the rest up to him too. Do I have a choice? Well I guess like on an air plane, I can stress all I want to, but it’s not going to do me any good or effect where the pilot is taking me, in the end I’ll just give myself more white hairs.
Your blogs are great Tara. As you know I can completely relate to you, your questions and thoughts. This is a great way to let it all out and give God the opportunity to do His work. Miss you and I hope you are having a stress free, worry free time in the most beautiful place on earth. Love you.
Lisa