Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.- Isaiah 43:18-19
Yesterday, this verse really resonated with me. I realized as I make the transition from adjunct professor to mom that I need to let go of “the past.” I need to stop trying to expect things to be like they were: more time to myself, time to read and research, a clean house, a fairly regular schedule…. And I need to accept things the way they are now: time with Ethan, time to play and teach him, a messy home with hand prints in strange places, an unpredictable schedule….
Even though mommyhood is a hard place to be at times, I also need to remember that God will continue to grow me and our relationship here, and even though I don’t always get the time with him that I used to, he understands.
For me this time of growth instead of being as theological is more internal. Learning what it really means to love. Learning to really put aside myself for others. And, it is just as necessary as that place that I came from.