FMF: Settle

Mar 30, 2018


If anything right now, I feel so unsettled. I SHOULD feel settled. We’ve been in our house for 5 years. We have a good church home, family close, secure jobs (should I say that out loud???)

But inside I always feel so unsettled.

I recently told my husband I’m a “Doer.” I’m terrible at just “Being.” Of just sitting still. I’m the same way in my life. I’m terrible at just being. Of just going to work and coming home, taking care of my kids…Yes, that should be enough, but it never is. I even tried for it to be enough last fall. Thus, why I haven’t been doing FMF in so long.

My experiment last Fall was to just be. To just go to work, take care of my kids, to not try to do extra. I COULDN’T do it. It was nice to not have the “should’s” following me around about how I should be on Medium, I should be posting more to Instagram, I should…. But the ideas wouldn’t leave.

The muse would not stop tapping me on the shoulder. So you know what I did, I invented more work for myself at school. So now I lead a meeting once a month, just because I can’t be. AND as you can see I’m back writing.

So settled, I’m terrible at it. For me it’s just learning to manage those voices and letting go of the stress-inducing “shoulds” along the way.

Five Minute Friday (FMF) is where writers from all over join together to write on one word for 5 minutes. No editing, no longer. Just a five minute free write. Sounds good? Come join us:


Do you struggle to find time to spend with Jesus daily?

Do you want to grow in your relationship with him, but aren’t sure where to start?

Join the Abide 5 Day Challenge! When you sign up, you’ll receive an email a day for 5 days. They are 5 different ways to Abide in Jesus daily. Most take about 15 minutes or so but connect you to Jesus in ways you might not have thought of before.

Click the image below to join the challenge!


Do you find it hard to study the Bible?

It doesn’t have to be.

Let me help you learn a technique for studying that makes it simple. Join me as we study one chapter each week and memorize two verses of scripture each month.

You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes in your life.


  1. Tara

    I’m not always good at being settled either.

  2. Julia Putzke

    “So settled, I’m terrible at it. For me it’s just learning to manage those voices and letting go of the stress-inducing “shoulds” along the way.”

    I’d like to learn how to ket go of the “shoulds” Like the voice that tells me I should care more or less or should feel a certain way. They get so annoying. In a way, I’m kind of forced to be thanks to Cerebral Palsy. I’m a little slower and things take awhile and I like being still..I just wish it translated to my insides a bit more. Thanks for sharing this. Visiting from fmf. 🙂

    • Tara L. Cole

      I call the inner “should” voice the “frying pan lady.” It feels like someone smacking me on the head. When she really plagued me for years, I began telling her to be quiet and fought her with a God’s truth. Also, the book Search for Significance really helped. The outer voices I simply avoid where they are. The Facebook groups, the emails, the advice…. sometimes all the things we “should” do feels overwhelming! So I peek in when I need help but turned down the volume otherwise.

      • Julia Putzke

        😂 “frying pan voice” – I love that. I’m going to have to add Search for significance to my list. I’ve had to cut out Facebook except the messenger and Instagram. I go on sometimes but it’s really overwhelming still. And emails – I sometimes just don’t even look. It makes my soul feel better but going back can make a tad overwhelmed with how many. It really is a process. Thank you for sharing what has helped you. ☺️

  3. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Love the honesty of this post, Tara. If I can give any advice from the (premature!) edge of death, I’d say, “Just live every day. It’ll work out from there.”

Pin It on Pinterest