In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.” ~   Matthew 13:14-15

Did you catch what Jesus said contributed to healing? “Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.” I don’t know about you, but being willing to see, hear, and understand aren’t the first things that come to mind when I am seeking healing from Jesus. But then again, maybe they should be.

I know from first hand experience how easy it is to unknowingly live in denial, believing lies and operating as though the lies were true. However, in the same way that “ignorance of the law is no excuse” as a defense for breaking the law, thus consequences still must be paid, so it is with the laws of life. It simply did not matter that I sincerely believed that I had my dream of a “happy Christian family.” Denial didn’t make it so, and my children and I are still healing from the consequences of my denial.

Awareness (seeing, hearing, understanding) is a vital first step to healing. Awareness came for me in many ways and different places. Perhaps something in a book I read was just what I needed to hear at the time, or a conversation a couple of friends I happened upon were engaged in. One of them said exactly what I needed to hear, without that person ever knowing what I was going through, much less what I needed.

There is a reason for the saying, “The truth hurts.” Was admitting that I had been living in denial and believing lies easy to admit? NO! Was it pain-free admitting that by doing so, I had unwittingly harmed my children?! Absolutely not! Was it easy admitting that not only did I not have the happy Christian family that I had always dreamed of, but never had? No, in fact, it was one of the most painful things I have ever done. Why? Because it wrenched open the door to grieving. Grieving the death of my dream. Grieving the state of my family as I could finally see clearly.

However, at the same time I saw opportunity. I saw that I had the opportunity to break the chains that wove through my family tree. I saw that we could learn a new way of being and interacting with each other. I saw that I had the opportunity to change my family tree.

Not easy. Not fast. Not pain-free. But worth it. Let’s pray that Jesus open our eyes so that we may see; open our ears so that we may hear; open our hearts to understanding and heal us. Please do not be afraid of truth. Jesus is with you. He will walk with you, guiding and holding onto you.

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These are some of the books I found most helpful when beginning to heal and find freedom:

Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend

Codependent No More by Beatty

The Search for Significance by McGee

We’re studying The Search for Significance this Fall. Come join us! Subscribe to Overacup.org at the right to be the first to get the details in August.

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