Whew! This topic makes my heart both heavy and happy.
Heavy because for many, many years several of my sons struggled with friendships. I had the misguided idea that if we lived in the same town and school system while they grew up, they would have good friends from day one. Not true.
It took years of prayer and God growing our family in new directions before my sons had good friends.
This topic also makes my heart happy. Even this week, I continue to see God’s answer to my prayers for my children’s friendships. I do not take this answer to prayer for granted. Watching them with their friends still makes my heart smile several years later.
I’ve found three types of friendships we should pray for and help our children seek out.
Mentors – a few steps ahead
Mentors are friends, adults, and family who are a few steps ahead of our children on the path. We can help them connect to these types of friendships through sports and activities, youth groups, and family gatherings. Anywhere they might connect with strong Christians who will point them to Jesus.
As you help your children find these types of friends, consider the friendship we see between Paul and Timothy in the Bible. The books of 1 & 2 Timothy show the closeness these two men shared. My prayer here is:
Father, please give my sons mentors like Timothy found in Paul. Ones who will encourage them, correct them, and point them to you.
Friends – walking beside them
Our children also need friends who are in it with them and know exactly what they are going through. Their closest friends in this group should be those who share our family’s values and seek to grow closer to Jesus.
From talking to my mentors, I’ve heard over and over that getting our children from ten to twenty successfully often depends on their friends.
This doesn’t mean we sequester them, but it does mean the inner circle that influences them the most are friends that again point them to Jesus. Think about the friends who tore a hole in the roof of the house to get their friends to Jesus in Mark 2: 1-12.
There may be other friends who our children support and influence toward God, however, they don’t have to be the ones who have our children’s ears the most. My prayer here is:
Father, please give my child friends who will do whatever it takes to get them to you, and may they be this kind of friend for others.
Mentorees – following behind them
I’ve learned more during my life from helping and serving others than from almost anywhere else. When we reach out to those a few steps behind us on the journey, it teaches us to lean into what God has taught us. It’s hard to teach and encourage without continuing to learn and grow yourself.
In the Bible, we see this example of Moses and Joshua in the books of Exodus. As he led the people toward the promised land, Moses was not alone. Joshua was close behind him watching everything Moses did and said. Eventually, Joshua became a capable leader himself leading the people into the promised land.
We want our children to lean into mentoring and being friends with those younger than them. If only for this reason, they may behave better if they know someone is looking up to them. (Wink!) My prayer here is:
Father, please help my children to see those behind them on the path. Help them to be gracious and encouraging ever pointing others to you.
As we begin this school year, no matter your schooling choice or your children’s ages, let’s spend time praying for their friendships. Asking God to do what only he can.
Podcast
This month I read two chapters on friendship from Everyday Prayers for the School Year on the Everyday Prayers Podcast with Million Praying Moms.
If you want to go deeper into our kid’s friendships, watch this episode of the Over A Cup Podcast on YouTube:
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