Being a mom is hard. Can I get an, “Amen?” But for me the hardest part has been taking on this new identity. For close to thirty years my life was mostly about me. Yes, I have a husband, so there were some compromise involved, but now I’m learning compromising on things with a husband has nothing on the selflessness a child requires.
Before, I could eat what I wanted when I wanted. Now, I eat what I can grab between getting lunch for Ethan and feeding Liam.
Before, I could sleep in. Now, I’m happy with six straight hours of sleep and pray they make it until 7 am.
Before, I could run errands when I wanted and as many as I wanted. Now, I strategically plan my trips between naps and meal times.
Before, I could grab my purse and walk out the door. Now, I have to think about diapers, snacks, drinks, toys….
Before. I could spend an afternoon reading, working, planning, whatever I wanted. Now. my afternoons are full of toys, cars, children’s books, Sesame Street, parks, and diapers.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy being a mom. Most of the time I do, but the transition to motherhood is one that I struggle with. It’s getting easier, and I hear that the further down the path you get instead of it being hard to do everything for them, the hard part becomes learning to let them go…
…It’s been a few months since I wrote that, and you know what? It’s true. This new identity does get easier to take on the longer I do it.
What has helped me the most are two things. One, trying to take time each day to spend with the boys and really see them. When I am so busy rushing around and getting things done, they become just one more thing on my to-do list. Put food in. Check. Clean up his bottom when the food comes out. Check. But when I stop to read to them, play with them, talk to them, and look them in the eyes, then I really see the two little boys God has blessed me with. They become precious instead of just two more things on my list.
The second thing that has helped me to transition is finding something that really feeds my Spirit. I don’t have the time to teach in person classes anymore, but I can steal a few minutes during nap time to teach online, read, and write. This time is precious to me, and it gives me the chance to be me instead of just “momma.”
If you’re struggling with the transition to motherhood, even if you’re a mom of several years, get off your back and give yourself time. You didn’t become “you” over night, and you may not feel like “momma” overnight either.
Also, take time for you. Yes, those little ones need you, but they also need you sane. Take a few minutes to feed your soul during a nap, after they’re in bed, or while your husband has his daddy/kid time.
Be sure to also take momma/kid time. Time to really see them and not just the to-do list they inspire.
Yes, being a momma is very hard work, and it is exhausting, but as we take time to feed our souls and embrace the best parts of being a momma–those sweet babies–then hopefully we can begin to be as comfortable being “momma” as we were being just “me.”