A few weeks ago, while eating dinner, I asked Jeremy how his day had gone. “Not very well,” he said. Then he dropped the bomb that I never want to hear but always know can come, “Ford is thinking of pulling the engineer at my airport, so I might have to be there more often. We have a meeting in a few days to talk about it.”
You see Jeremy works with airports’ AV systems. So if they need him night or day, he has to be available. Lately, that’s just meant working from Oklahoma or traveling a little, but sometimes, like in the last two years it’s meant moving to where those airports are located.
In the course of our conversation after the kids were in bed, it came out that we might even need to move to be closer to the airport. I was not happy. You see we are finally resettled in a house we own, in a good area with great friends, and a good church home. I love the relationships we’ve begun to build over the last year, and I didn’t want to have to leave my friends, again.
My mindset over the last year had also changed from one of gratefulness to one of expectation. As I signed Ethan up for PreK, attended the parent meetings, and learned more about the school district, I had begun to have visions of our boys attending High School here and graduating.
In this shake up, God quickly reminded me that mindset was not where I needed to be. Instead, I needed to continue to hold everything here with open hands and be willing to give it back to Him when He asked, trusting that He would take care of us.
The day of the big meeting came, and since it was his first day of vacation, Jeremy went outside to have a phone conference with his boss. As I waited in the kitchen and cleaned up breakfast, I was nervous and stressed despite trying to give the situation over to God many, many times. I was having a very hard time letting go. Then songs began to come to mind like “Blessed be Your Name” by Matt Redman that reminded me to keep my hands open and be thankful. As I sang them out loud, the peace that had escaped me for days cascaded down. I knew no matter what was decided it would be okay. We would be okay. God had this.
As Jeremy came back in the house, I waited wondering what the next year would hold. He told me though they were going to still pull the engineer, they were going to train someone else in his place to handle day-to-day operations. Jeremy wasn’t going to have to travel much more than he is now, and we could stay in Oklahoma.
I said a quick thank you prayer, but this time it was a hands open prayer of gratitude. Once again I was fully aware that here is temporary. God’s goal for me here isn’t to set me up in a house or in a place, to stay and get comfortable. Instead, it’s to serve Him wherever I am most needed.
So now instead of visions of my boys’ graduations dancing in my head, I try to focus on today. Because
today is all I’m guaranteed, tomorrow God may need us somewhere else.