|Jeremy and I in Breckenridge, CO, Jan. 2006|
Despite trying to wait on God and listen to him, in January of 2006 I was just done. I had one foot completely out of the boat and was already planning what I’d do if we didn’t make it. Then something happened. I can only call it a gift from God.
We had been planning a ski trip to Colorado for a few months with friends in our small group, Jeremy and I almost backed out a few times due to the cost, but decided since we never took vacations to bite the bullet and go anyway. That was the number one best decision we have made since being married.
In those short four or five days, we were reminded why we got married in the first place. We had so much fun together! Since our ski levels were the same, nill, and those of our friends, especially the guys, were more advanced, black diamonds, most of the time Jeremy and I were left to ski together and help each other figure it out. We fell and slid and took forever, but we also laughed a lot and had a ton of fun doing it. I even ditched my girl friends on a shopping day to stay back at the sloops and ski with Jeremy.
Reconnecting like that and realizing why we got married in the first place, gave me the push to place both feet back in the boat. No, I wasn’t totally ready to erase the last four years and pretend they had never happened, but I was ready to commit to trying to work things out.
I’m not advocating going into debt or neglecting necessities to go on a wonderful vacation, but if you can save some money or take an unexpected bonus to have a special weekend together, I would strongly recommend it.
Whatever you do, learn to have fun together again. Dates are good, but to really give your waning relationship a kick start, time away together is better. Truthfully, until kids we went on weekly dates. However, staring at each other over a plate of food and then holding hands through a movie wasn’t enough. Instead,we had to do something that required us to connect.
The time away doesn’t have to cost a lot, but it does need to be something you both enjoy or think you may enjoy doing. Reconnect on a hike or at the beach. Trade houses with an empty nest couple for a weekend and leave your kids at home. Take time to get away from your family and kids, especially your kids, to discover each other again.
No, it won’t solve all your problems, but maybe like me, it will remind both of you why you got married in the first place. Though we had a tough road ahead, that glimpse the person I married during the ski trip carried me through many hard days. In fact it was so essential to the health of our marriage during that time, we both still refer to that trip often and long to return one day to do it again.
So my challenge to you this week is to get away together. Plan something and come back here and let us know what your plan is. Even if your marriage is doing well, all of us can use a break and time away together. My plan is to stop right now and email my empty nest friends, what’s yours?