Today is a guest post from my sister Amber. I just love her insight into the feelings of homesickness we all feel sometimes. I hope it brings you as much encouragement as it has brought me.
He was sitting in my office and he was MAD. “I am so angry at that person there,” he said pointing to his case manager’s office.
“Why are you mad at Miss Kelly*?” I asked.
“Because she is making me stay here until school is out.” He then went into a monologue explaining why he should be able to go home earlier. His reasons being: 1. He had all of his things in order with the school. 2. He had all of his things in order with driver’s education. 3. He REALLY wanted to because he was homesick.
It was then I told him that I was the one who asked Miss Kelly to let his case worker know that I wanted him to stay at the Residential Treatment Center longer. It was because I felt that he had not reached all the goals that he needed to while staying with us. I told him that another week here would help him stay home this time.
I explained to him, “You have to trust that I want what is best for you. You can be angry at me that is fine. With what you know about me, would I make a choice for you that I thought was going to harm you?”
“No,” he replied.
“Then I want you to trust me,” I said.
How many times do we feel the same way, but instead we’re homesick for heaven? For instance, my husband and I had to pass on the “perfect” house, as it is not yet time for us to buy, and I am home sick. Not just homesick for something that is not an apartment and a place I can call my home for a long time, but homesick for heaven.
I’m tired of the hurting. I’m tired of the pain that I see in others. I’m tired of seeing people who are too young to die, die. I’m tired of being tired! I no longer see death as a bad thing as much as I become jealous that they are now in Heaven, with God! How can I wish that away from them? I want the home that they have, now! I want to be in the presence of God and Jesus. I want to sing with the angels. I want to meet my aunt who was miscarried and never born. I want to meet my grandfather. I long for the day that I can hear the words, “well done you good and faithful servant.”
There is a song by Mercy Me, Homesick, that I often think about during these times. The chorus is:
“I close my eyes and I see your face,
If home’s where my heart is then I’m outta place,
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow?
I’ve never been more homesick than now.”
When I get homesick, and I tell God, “I got it all done here. What more am I supposed to learn? I want to go home!” And I hear him whisper “With what you know about me, would I make a choice that I thought was going to harm you? I want you to trust me. You can be angry if you want to that is fine. I just want you to trust me.”
*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality