God is amazing! That’s what I heard over and over. Really, I am sick of hearing that. Go away and leave me alone!
After I got married, I never thought of having children. I was one of three and my parents were taking care of my sister with issues and my brother with ADHD. I was left to myself most of the time.
My husband and I traveled wherever we wanted, spent money, and did what we wanted, then I turned 30. Ladies kept telling me, “Your eggs, are diminishing, you’ve got to have kids, now.” So we tried, morning, nooners, and night for years. Not once did someone tell us that we needed to go to a doctor to see if we had working parts before we could have a party in my lady parts.
So, at the age of 33, in June, I was having issues with paralyzing of my left arm. “Ah, too many hours at work.” Work was 15-18 hours many days of the week. “That’s what is causing this.” In October, I went blind in my left eye. “I have got to do something now.” One eyed Jacqueline would look silly. I went to the eye doctor, and they found a tumor in my eye. He told me that they would not be able to do surgery, but they can keep an eye on it. He set up an appointment with his neurologist friend to see about the paralysis. In January of the next year, I got to visit with Dr. Jay.
Long story short, a brain tumor, surgery, and many years of memory loss, sensory issues, not being able to listen to music because of ear pain, feeling that I was dumb at work and that people looked down on me, becoming an introvert, and looking to God for support.
In 2012, we tried to have a child, but decided to go through DHS. Nightmare with our worker. Who in their right mind doesn’t call back in 8 months to let you know what is going on and then lies over and over again about there not being kids in the system. I am the only one who can say I’m not in my right mind, since I have a hole in my head? Come to find out our worker put our paperwork in the pike for adopting a teenager, since my husband taught high school and we helped with our church teen group. We wanted a baby! My husband’s swimmers were tested and he was told that the swimmers were misshaped. He was devastated.
We prayed to God for guidance. We adopted a teenager, well a trial run for her and us, it failed. Once again, failure in our lives and my husband became a nobody. We had no marriage, no interaction, two separate people living in the same house in two separate rooms. He was at the bottom. I prayed every day July 2012-January of 2013 that he would be okay. That he would try adopting again. That he would believe that he did not cause all of this mess.
The second week of January, he hugged me and said, “Let’s try adopting again.” We looked into Catholic Charities. God was leading us down another path. Catholic Charities was heartfelt, comforting, and we fell in love with all the caregivers there. We met other couples who were unable to have children, a support group, finally. We were approved July 2013, and waited for a child.
In July, a very exciting event happened, my husband said, “Let’s do it.” “Whatever honey.” In August, 12 days past my usual time, I decided to take a pregnancy test. “There is no way that’s a positive sign?” Four tests later, same result. I walked into the living room with the stick. “Honey, you are never going to believe this, it says I’m pregnant.” “Are you sure?” “Let’s go to Walgreens and get some more.” Nine tests later with the same result, pregnant. We still were not convinced. Two days later, a call from Catholic Charities, “We have a baby for you.” We sat on the bed, “What do we say?” We prayed, and then said we were pregnant and please give that child to another deserving family.
During my whole pregnancy, I did not have sensory issues, ear pain, migraines, seizures, blindness, and I blared the music, the first time since Feb. 28, 2010.
Our son was born April 17, 2014.
God has his own timing. He shows us his path every day, and we have to trust and believe in him. Our perfect God gave us a perfect child so that we can raise him in His name.
I’m so glad to share my friend, Jacqueline’s, God Story with you this month. I first meet Jacqueline on the night her husband shared their God Story with our church and announced they were pregnant. Since then I’ve come to know her, and just love her heart for God. I pray you were as encouraged by her story as I have been.